The next Hollywood block-buster thriller!

After watching "The Happening" and pretty much hating it, I've found a better thriller story for Hollywood to produce. I can imagine it would be a hit! If only they could work in a clever joke about a pharmacy trip...haha.

1 Samuel 5 ((The Message-cuz it's good for storytelling plus some additional director thoughts by me...))

Threatened with Mass Death

((The opening scene. There has just been a major battle between Israel and the Philistines. You see the bodies of many men in armor laying on the ground through fog. Daunting music plays to show the audience that the battle did not go well for our friends.))

1-2 Once the Philistines had seized the Chest of God, they took it from Ebenezer to Ashdod, brought it into the shrine of Dagon, and placed it alongside the idol of Dagon.

((Camera angles up and follows a train of Philistine carrying the Ark up a dusty hill with some sad, Middle East sounding music in the background. Follows them into a temple of Dagon. Camera angles up on Dagon to show how they regard him with respect and think he's amazingly powerful. Music builds to a climax and suddenly cuts to the next scene, which may look like a party in the king's court or something. After all, they did just defeat Israel.))

3-5 Next morning when the citizens of Ashdod got up, they were shocked to find Dagon toppled from his place, flat on his face before the Chest of God. They picked him up and put him back where he belonged. ((May cut to a meeting with the priests, discussing the happening, but deciding it was just a fluke, just to take some artistic license and to make the movie last a bit longer...)) First thing the next morning they found him again, toppled and flat on his face before the Chest of God. Dagon's head and arms were broken off, strewn across the entrance. Only his torso was in one piece. (That's why even today, the priests of Dagon and visitors to the Dagon shrine in Ashdod avoid stepping on the threshold.)

((Rumbling noise is heard. Confusion all around. I'm thinking of clips kind of like from "The Prince of Egypt" when the plagues are happening, but with tumors and rats.))

6 God was hard on the citizens of Ashdod. He devastated them by hitting them with tumors. This happened in both the town and the surrounding neighborhoods. He let loose rats among them. Jumping from ships there, rats swarmed all over the city! And everyone was deathly afraid.

((Another long meeting of arguments among priests. Insert lots of shouting as some would have probably wanted to keep the Ark and try to persuade G-d to use His divine power against their enemies...after all, the Ark was pretty much housing an insane amount of power!))

7-8 When the leaders of Ashdod saw what was going on, they decided, "The chest of the god of Israel has got to go. We can't handle this, and neither can our god Dagon." They called together all the Philistine leaders and put it to them: "How can we get rid of the chest of the god of Israel?"

The leaders agreed: "Move it to Gath." So they moved the Chest of the God of Israel to Gath.

9 But as soon as they moved it there, God came down hard on that city, too. It was mass hysteria! He hit them with tumors. Tumors broke out on everyone in town, young and old.

((Same kind of thing again...))

10-12 So they sent the Chest of God on to Ekron, but as the Chest was being brought into town, the people shouted in protest, "You'll kill us all by bringing in this Chest of the God of Israel!" They called the Philistine leaders together and demanded, "Get it out of here, this Chest of the God of Israel. Send it back where it came from. We're threatened with mass death!" For everyone was scared to death when the Chest of God showed up. God was already coming down very hard on the place. Those who didn't die were hit with tumors. All over the city cries of pain and lament filled the air.

And in typical thriller style, you have the few who survive and start trying to mend their lives. The sun comes out as they hitch the Ark to some cows and send it away. I was trying to find an amazing plot twist, but to be honest, G-d is just too cool for that. Read chapter 6 for the sequel!! =).