Who has control.

These will probably be loose, random thoughts.

I was walking to our school's Monday assembly the other day with a friend and I was in a pretty good mood. I mean, the sun was shining, the company was great and I had pushed all my stresses aside so I could have room to smile. As I was skipping along, probably greatly freaking my friend out, I stretched my fingers in front of me and admired. I love my hands most days. Even as I watch them now, furiously typing away, I love how long and slim they are, perfect for instruments, and just the way my purity rings sits. My nails are all peeled off ((it's been a rough week)), but who really notices your nails anyways? There's a little note written on my left hand reminding me I need to bring a sleeping bag and pillow to Dain's tomorrow night.

Anyways, I stretched out my fingers before me and simply admired, not only the prettiness, but just the movement. I flexed and clicked, probably grossing my friend out. I wiggled and stretched, flicked and shredded. It made me think about control. As a musician and blogger, I've taken pains at making sure I can utterly control my fingers to do anything they were designed to do. However, as I flexed and flicked, it occured to me that I wasn't really concentrating on making my fingers move. It was just kind of happening. Not in a seizure kind of way, but I wasn't consciously thinking, "move index finger right hand, now pinky finger left hand...etc" It was as easy and free as breathing. No real control.

In a way, yes, our brains are in control, reminding our hearts to beat, our lungs to fill with air, our eyelids to blink, but when you really think about it, that's so easily shut down. So fragile. It's not real control.

There was a great quote in the Matrix Reloaded about control. It's when Neo is talking to Councillor Hamann.
CH: "The power to give life-and the power to end it"
Neo: "We have the same power" ... "we control these machines, they don't control us"
CH: "Of course not, the idea is pure nonsence but it does make one wonder, what is control?"
Neo: "If we wanted we could shut these machines down."
CH: "Of course, that's it, you hit it! That's control, isn't it? If we wanted we could smash them to bits."

So, who really has control over our lives? I know the obvious answer everyone's probably thinking ((or maybe not, I don't know)) is G-d. And of course, he has the ultimate control. After all, He created the universe and set stars in their places! But the less obvious answer I think is you and me. After all, we're created in His image ((which is another mind blowing thought when you're staring at your hands)). We seem to think we have the power to give life and to end it. We do hold that power, though it's not ours to hold. Power and control are too big for us. It's like giving a toddler a lighter. It's potentially very dangerous. This is why abortion is such a big issue. It's a simple example of us humans thinking we deserve to have control over another life.

I'm finding it hard to end this one. I suppose I'll leave it open with these questions:

• Who is in control of your life? Think outside the box.
• Who should have control over your life?

Hmmm... =).